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Chapter 2 of 12: February 2019

This post is dedicated to the lives of two very resilient young people, Dawn and Seven, sleep well young soldiers.

Happy New Year? As 2018 came to a close, I was excited to continue the momentum that had been building in my life over the past ten months into the new year. For the first time in a long time, I’d made it to the end of the year without wishing away either the last month, the last two weeks or the final few days remaining in the year. It was the first time in a long time, that I didn't believe that the clock striking twelve at midnight would somehow miraculously make everything gone awry in the previous 364 days alright in my life.

In my mind, I thought January 1st would come and I would carry on as I had been for the last couple of years, making the necessary changes and adjustments needed for me to continue to live my proverbial "best life". For the most part that's been happening, but not without news of death of family and friends and even transition in my professional life (January 31st marked the end of my career in pharmaceutical drug research that spanned 23 years and 10 months according to LinkedIn).

Throughout the past 36 days, one very real life lesson has been reaffirmed, and that is, what doesn't kill me or make me feel like I want to die can only make me stronger if, (pause) I allow myself to go through the process of being strengthened.

Thursday night (January 31st) when I got into bed , I decided that since I was no longer punching a daily professional clock, there was no longer a need for me to have my alarm set, especially when James' would be going off a few minutes later. As I was going through the settings on my phone, I began to wonder why I even set the alarm in the first place. Did I not trust God to be faithful in doing something He's done for me every day of my life since the day I was born? In fact, He did it for me again this morning (insert praise break)! I have a natural, internal alarm clock in the winter that goes off at 5 am and in the Spring it goes off at 6 am. Be it a work day, weekend day, vacation day or holiday, I consistently wake-up without the alarm. In fact on mornings I call myself sleeping in, I wake up first and then go back to sleep.

Why did I share the alarm clock story? Because for me, it adds additional proof to the fact that God is constantly proving His faithfulness to me. So beginning with each day He wakes me up, I will consistently challenge myself to trust Him. In every trying situation and circumstance that I've faced in the past, am dealing with in the present or will encounter in the future, whether it be death, illness, or loss of a job, I know that without fail and beyond the shadow of a doubt, that He will be there for me.(period)

Beginning February 15th, I'll be able to wake up and do what the Lord would have me to do. It's not that I wasn't doing that before, it's just now it will be in a new and different way. I'll have to wake up trusting and believing that the Lord will make a way for me. I will have to wake up knowing that He will provide for all of my daily needs.

I have an idea of what that new way and new provision will look like. The details are unfolding as we speak. I know and believe that I will surely see the "good plans for peace and well-being" that God has prepared for me right along with the "future I hope for".